 The Not the Barra Comp News Issue 2
Ladies and gentlemen, fellow anglers . . .
You know, I had to dig out the 2003 Not the Barra Comp News just to reflect, to sit and ponder the ways of this world.
Was history repeating itself, were they stars or just little lights flashing before my eyes?
Angler numbers were down for the 2004 Boroko Motors Barra Comp, the Sweetapples had bolted to Darwin, Bloke had spat the dummy at the bank slipped off to Herpes Bay, Matthew had moved out from next door at Doa, so no entertainment there, Stiffy piked out with work and the ankle biters on the plate…
But, enough of my remorseful ramblings, lets start off with some humor.
Question: How do you get a little rock and roll in your handkerchief?
Wait for it . . .
You put a little Boga in it!
It really should be boogie but it suits my purpose.
Friday, the crowd at the house was small, John & Vicki from the Solomons were happily ensconced, having been at the Reach for a few days with Rod on Still Dancin’ to pre-fish the comp and to get a feel for the river. Managed to bag a few nice barra in the lead up, so definitely dark horses.
Fate soon put a stop to that. Not a touch for the weekend.
Connie and Boycie lobbed late without the glitterati, golf seemed to be more important…
The Burrows clan were down with Dad in tow, Jake grinning like a Cheshire cat the minute he stepped in the door, Shanae looking very whatever about the whole deal, still looked the same after slipping off with the junior prize Sunday night with a 7.5kg barra.
What do you have to do to get these kids revved up?
Gorilla Grip and HB appeared sans Angus who had jumped ship to fish with Chris Hagan. It may be that Angus feared for his life after last years bone crushing events.
The boys put three good fish on the board for the weekend nailing another 472 odd points on to their already impressive boat points tally. HB cleaned up catch and release with his efforts.
Bill, very kindly of course, reckons the only reason for keeping his fish was so that Gary could win a prize!! Isn’t it nice to see such caring and sharing between the boys…
Who knows, Bill just might start sporting a few of those spiffy Polo shirts if Gary can get some dress sense into him. But then again, the flouro safety shirts the boys sported on Saturday could mean that Bill has taken the upper hand in the wardrobe department or HB has been raiding the safety gear cupboard out at Air Coconut.
Talk about loud, all you could see was two little orange blobs that stood out like the proverbials. By little I mean from about a click away, up close they looked like a bunch of stacked up witches hats.
Speaking of spiffy, Chris Hagan is on a roll with his après fishing togs. We may have to include a neat and tidy trophy section… Chris and HB could have a walk off to see who gets the gong – the mind boggles.
The crowd was due to swell come Saturday night with day one in the bag. Expected numbers of around 30 bodies had the house almost bulging at the seams.
BC and I were first back to the house. Always a cunning ruse to catch the unwary attempting to conceal some gross error. We got our collective act together, organized the kai, thanks again Justine, and sat back with a coldie.
In they trooped.
Team Mud Bank Kamikaze lobbed hot to trot, Hideyuki with a nice barra of 9.68kg’s looked the goods. Off they belted back to Moresby. Jason had to collect the missus to fish Sunday.
You would have to wonder whether he spilt the beans about the couple of hours rest the boys had in the false mouth of the Laloki waiting for the tide to go out.
The call went out on the radio “We’re stuck, we need a tow, please help us” and most poignantly “It’s OK either side but the middle is really shallow”. Like hello.
Connie and Shane to the rescue ably assisted by Craig and the kids. Nice pics Shane.
Rod and company slipped in, fishless and forlorn.
The crowd swelled, Damon and John Beattie arrived with Damon putting two fish on the scales, both 5kg plus. Good potential there as John is a bit of a gun on barra at the Reach.
Jimmy Bragg had teamed up with Leanne for the comp,
Mr Gudmundsen being OS. Nice work too, with a 6.85kg fish to Leanne. Leanne appearing Saturday night with nicely toasted shoulders courtesy of a bit too much hot sun.
There was a lull in proceedings that starry night then a distant rumble disturbed our revere. Was it the speedway boys come to visit, perhaps the Doa Plantation staff were having late night tractor races?
There was shootin’ and hoolerin’ and engines a revvin’, by gosh it was…
The Dukes of Hazard!
Damn, these boys are the roughest, toughest beer drinkin’, fish fightin’ mob a pole cats as I ever did see!
Chuckles Duke, Boga Duke and Paddy Duke – or should that be Patty Duke - the aces of the crik by crikey!
Boga Duke had fish to weigh, to small boys 3 and 4, the other two went fishless, but you all know the score.
Had liquid flowed, you bet your arse, a carton per man per day.
The rampant ramblings ran unabated. Paddy had the krai sori towel going full pelt. Me Boga’s, me bloody Boga’s he howled.
Looks like brother Boga Duke had been hard at work. Not being a handbag wearing kind of guy, you know what these Hazard County boys can be like, Brother Boga had slipped the stainless steel apparatus into the barra that was going back for a swim.
Swim!
The poor little bugger went straight to the bottom with the Bogas’ clipped to firmly to his jaw! Them Duke boys is always up to some sort of mischief!
The Hazard County boys sought consolation in the bottle. First the brown bottle, then the bottle with the brown contents and just to rinse the teeth before bed time the gin bottle.
With Chuckles Duke at the neck the tide was definitely on the turn. Wisely Chuckles was protecting himself from the mozzies with a splash tonic wara. He was going to need it later…
Ladies and gentlemen time moved on and soon it was bed time for our gallant trio.
Well for two of them anyway, Patty was in full song seeming none the worse for wear. Boga slipped off to steal Connie’s mattress, Connie chucked a loop and stole Boycie’s, Boycie sorted that out and stole his back, then discovered Boga had done the dirty deed, stole that mattress back to which Boga retaliated by stealing the mattress back again.
It was on for young and old!
Chuckles, in his somewhat dazed state, was last seen gently hugging his outboard. Perhaps he was hoping he could get his own tilt trim switch to work.
A cunning plan had formed – sleep in the boat and I am guaranteed not to miss out on a fish tomorrow.
So Chuckles retired. He must have been laughing quietly to himself at his master stroke. Laughing all over himself is more the point!
You can bet the Duke boys kept their shoes on come Sunday. All those carrots and peas to step around would have had them on their toes!
What entertainment! What a spectacular!
Now all you good people would notice this writing is a little late, perhaps that’s just fate…
There is a post script to this tale of fish and boats and boys.
There I was come Monday, back to the remorseless toil and who bobs up but Paddy Duke. Now Paddy claims I’ve slandered him and treated him unfair, the triumvirate of NAFA’s for which he did not care.
‘ Mate I need the house keys I’ve left me bag behind, I’ll take the missus for a drive to prove that I was there’.
No worries bloke, I passed the keys straight over.
And so it goes, the keys come back with out a word being said, I simply thought the job was done and Paddy had saved his head.
Well blow me down and strike me pink there’s more to this tale of adventure.
Enough to say that AVIS must stand for ‘A Very Interesting Situation’ eh Paddy!
Them Duke boys, when you see them comin’ just start runnin’.
Thanks everyone for a great comp, the fish cooperated and the weather was kind.
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